(responding To A Sneeze From The Audience)

Mendelssohn Never Wrote Any Water Music. However, He Wrote The Scotch Symphony, Which Is Even Better, Or At Least Stronger.

What Soap Is To The Body, Laughter Is To The Soul. Laughter Is The Shortest Distance Between Two People.

(referring To The Piano's Natural Shape) Isn't It A Shame When Those Big Fat Opera Singers Lean Against The Pianos And Bend Them?

Santa Claus Has The Right Idea - Visit People Only Once A Year.

I Only Know Two Pieces; One Is 'clair De Lune' And The Other One Isn't.