Remember, Guns Don't Kill People - Unless

A Flu Shot Just Compromises Your Immune System.

We're Always On A Tightrope. We're Trying To Put Together People Who Don't Make Sense To Be Together, Talking About Issues That Are Sensitive And Controversial. We're Mixing Dangerous Chemicals On A Nightly Basis.

There's A Word The Teabaggers Have Wanted To Use Since Obama Came On The Scene, But They Can't Because It's Not The 1950s. They Would Love To Say This Word. It Begins With An N And Ends With -er, And It's Not "nation-builder."

To A Coward, Courage Always Looks Like Stupidity.

Old Testament, Is Really One Of The Most Wickedest Books You'll Ever Come Across. God Is An Insecure, Rage-filled Hybrid Of Bobby Knight And Suge Knight. He's Got These Anger Issues That You Can't Believe. He's Like John Mccain If Mccain Could Fart Hail. He's Pro-slavery, He's Pro-polygamy, He's Homophobic, He'll Kill You For Masturbating.