Prince William And Kate Middleton Are In

This Will Be Michelle Obama's Last Opportunity To Try To Get Me To Eat Kale.

Sarah Palin Is Joining Fox News. The New Slogan Is 'hair And Unbalanced.'

Overall Bush's European Trip Has Been An Overwhelming Success. Not Once Has He Gotten Separated From His Group.

Hillary Clinton, Our Junior Senator From New York, Announced That She Has No Intentions Of Ever, Ever Running For Office Of The President Of The United States. Her Husband, Bill Clinton, Is Bitterly Disappointed. He Is Crushed. There Go His Dreams Of Becoming A Two-impeachment Family.

The Entire Island Of Martha's Vineyard Has Gone Obama Crazy. There's Even A Cocktail That They've Named After Barack Obama. It's Called The Obamarita. Not To Be Confused With A Cocktail Inspired By John Mccain, The Cosmopoligrip. And Then There Was One A Couple Of Years Ago Inspired By George W. Bush, The Mojidiot. Of Course, There Was The Bill Clinton Screwdriver.