For The Love Of God, Folks, Don't

Honey, What Happened To "ladies First"? Husband Replies, "that's The Reason Why The Worlds A Mess Today, Because A Lady Went First!"

The Post Office Is Raising The Price Of Stamps Again. I Heard That And Said To Myself, 'if Only There Was An Inexpensive Electronic Way Of Communicating.'

Here In New York City You Can Now Walk Around Smoking Weed And All They Will Do If They See You Is Write You A Ticket. Unfortunately, The Ticket Will Be To A Jets Game.

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Has New Balloons This Year Including The Pillsbury Doughboy Balloon And The First Openly Gay Balloon. Also The Thomas Tank Engine Balloon, And They Even Have The Ebola Nurse Balloon.

The Entire Island Of Martha's Vineyard Has Gone Obama Crazy. There's Even A Cocktail That They've Named After Barack Obama. It's Called The Obamarita. Not To Be Confused With A Cocktail Inspired By John Mccain, The Cosmopoligrip. And Then There Was One A Couple Of Years Ago Inspired By George W. Bush, The Mojidiot. Of Course, There Was The Bill Clinton Screwdriver.