Philadelphia, Wonderful Town, Spent A Week There

Ain't Fit For Man Nor Beast

It Was A Marriage Of Convenience, As My Father Had A Blister On His Big Toe And Couldn't Travel Far To Find A Girl.

Thou Shalt Not Kill Anything Less Than A Fifth.

I Was Married Once--in San Francisco. I Haven't Seen Her For Many Years. The Great Earthquake And Fire In 1906 Destroyed The Marriage Certificate. There's No Legal Proof. Which Proves That Earthquakes Aren't All Bad.

If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bull.