All The Men In My Family Were

There Are Only Two Real Ways To Get Ahead Today - Sell Liquor Or Drink It.

Happiness Means Quiet Nerves.

The Laziest Man I Ever Met Put Popcorn In His Pancakes So They Would Turn Over By Themselves.

In Every Big City There Is Always One Surefire Laugh, And That Lies In Hanging Some Piece Of Idiocy Upon The People Of A Nearby City Or Town.

I Believe In Tying The Marriage Knot, As Long As It's Around The Woman's Neck