All The Men In My Family Were

Reality Is An Illusion That Occurs Due To The Lack Of Alcohol.

Never Give A Sucker An Even Break.

Try Till You Succeed...if You Don't Succeed Once, Then Destroy All Evidence Of The Fact That You Tried!

Comedy Is A Serious Business. A Serious Business With Only One Purpose--to Make People Laugh.

Beer: Helping Ugly People Have Sex Since 3000 B. C.