Perhaps I'm Being Too Optimistic, But I

I Never Knew If I Would Get My Own Show, But I Knew I Loved Stand-up.

Child Molesters Must All Think They've Got Huge Dicks.

I Like To Read, But Otherwise I'm Just Your Average, Self-obsessed Comedian. It's Pretty Much All I Think About.

Im Not The Voice Of Reason; Im More The Guy Using These Offensive Topics As Fodder To Raise Tension In A Joke.

In A Late-night Monologue, It's Not Just About Being Funny; You Have To Come Off As Knowledgeable. You Have To Cultivate A Persona Of Trust And Intelligence And Likeability.