Larry King Is So Old, He's Actually

I Tell Very Mean Jokes.

A Couple Of Months Ago, I Gave My Girlfriend Some Fancy Lingerie, And She Actually Got Mad At Me. She Said, 'anthony, I Think This Is More Of A Gift For You Than It Is For Me.' And I Said, 'if You Want To Get Technical, It Was Originally A Gift For My Last Girlfriend.'

My Ultimate Goal Is To Do Whatever I Want, Whenever I Want To Do It. And That Keeps Changing. I Didn't Want To Host My Own Show Until I Wrote For Someone Else's.

I Want To Get A Tattoo Of The Word Irony, Only Misspelled.

Whenever I Meet A Pretty Girl, The First Thing I Look For Is Intelligence; Because If She Doesn't Have That, Then She’s Mine.