People Ask What I Am Really Trying

A Bad Liver Is To A Frenchman What A Nervous Breakdown Is To An American. Everyone Has Had One And Everyone Wants To Talk About It.

Put Yourself In Hamlet's Shoes. Suppose You Were A Prince, And You Came Back From College To Discover That Your Uncle Had Murdered Your Father And Married Your Mother, And You Fell In Love With A Beautiful Girl And Mistakenly Murdered Her Father, And Then She Went Crazy And Drowned Herself. What Would You Do? Go Back For A Masters?

The Reason I Don't Play Golf Is Because I Was A Caddie When I Was 13. Women Never Gave Up A Golf Ball That Was Lost Somewhere In The Trees And Thicket And Down Through The Poison Ivy. It Was During One Of These Searches That I Vowed To The Lord Above That If I Ever Earned Enough Money I Would Never Set Foot On A Course Again.

The Best Way To Clean Up A Son's Room Is To Close The Door And Pretend It's Not Part Of The House.

The Buffalo Isn't As Dangerous As Everyone Makes Him Out To Be. Statistics Prove That In The United States More Americans Are Killed In Automobile Accidents Than Are Killed By Buffalo.