Pebble Beach Is Alcatraz With Grass.

She Said She Was Approaching Forty, And I Couldn't Help Wondering From What Direction.

I Tell Jokes To Pay My Green Fees.

I Once Showed Pat Bradley My Swing And Said, 'what Do I Do Next?' Pat Replied, 'wait Till The Pain Dies Down.'

I Don't Know What People Have Against Jimmy Carter. He's Done Nothing.

Wine, Women And Song Have Been Replaced By Prune Juice, A Heating Pad And The Gong Show.