Our Toaster Has Two Settings: Too Soon

When I Came Home And Showed My Mother My Report Card With A Mark Of 98 In Arithmetic, She Wanted To Know Who Had Gotten The Other Two Points.

Life Begins At Forty, But So Does Arthritis, And The Habit Of Telling The Same Story Three Times To The Same Person.

If You Want To Kill Time Why Not Try Working It To Death.

Happiness Is A By-product. You Cannot Pursue It By Itself.

If You Die In An Elevator, Be Sure To Push The Up Button.