Our Toaster Has Two Settings: Too Soon

When I Came Home And Showed My Mother My Report Card With A Mark Of 98 In Arithmetic, She Wanted To Know Who Had Gotten The Other Two Points.

Any Kid Who Has Two Parents Who Are Interested In Him And Has A Houseful Of Books Isn't Poor.

The American Success Formula Is First To Get A Home Of Your Own, Then To Get A Car Of Your Own So You Don't Have To Stay In That Home Of Your Own.

Life Begins At Forty, But So Does Arthritis, And The Habit Of Telling The Same Story Three Times To The Same Person.

The Reason God Made Man Before Woman Was That He Didn't Want Any Suggestions.