I Got Some Tartar-control Toothpaste A While

Here's A Thought For Sweat Shop Owners: Air Conditioning. Problem Solved.

I Don't Want To Have My Face On The Cover Of A Wheaties Box. I Wanna Have My Face On The Cover Of A Rice Krispies Box. "snap, Krackle, Mitch And Pop"!

So, I Sit At The Hotel At Night And I Think Of Something That's Funny. Or, If The Pen Is Too Far Away, I Have To Convince Myself That What I Thought Of Wasn't Funny.

I Don't Have A Microwave Oven, But I Do Have A Clock That Occasionally Cooks Stuff.

I've Always Wanted To Have A Suitcase Handcuffed To My Wrist. That's Not A Full Joke There! It's Filler.