One Of The First Things I Said

Found A Bunch Of Old Shower Caps In My House. Was Gonna Throw Them Out But Realized They Make Excellent Porta Potties For Long Road Trips.

A Lot Of People Ask Me What My Favorite Episode Of Full House Was, I Always Tell Them: It Was The Last One!

Everyone I Love I Pay.

It's Smart To Marry Your Yoga Teacher So When You Get Divorced You Know How To Go Down On Yourself.

Today Is A Brand New Day. A Day Of Change, Of Promise, Of Creativity, Of Kindness, And Of Love. I'm Going Back To Bed.