One Day, In 1982, For 15 Minutes,

Where's My Tax Form? Where's The File That's Supposed To Hold My W-2 Form And Interest Statement? Where's The Mileage Log I Specifically Asked Be Kept Last Year?? Where's The Monthly Check Summary? And Who's Been Stuffing Visa Receipts In The Aluminum Foil Drawer??!! How Embarrassing. I'm Surrounded By Idiots And I'm The Only One In The Office.

Men Date. Women Have Relationships.

Wake Me Up When I'm A Size 5.

All Parents Believe Their Children Can Do The Impossible. They Thought It The Minute We Were Born, And No Matter How Hard We've Tried To Prove Them Wrong, They All Think It About Us Now. And The Really Annoying Thing Is, They're Probably Right.

I'm Lucky That My Real-life Mom Has Both A Great Sense Of Humor About Herself And An Amazing Ability To Slip Into Complete Denial If The Subject Matter Gets A Little Too Close To Home.