Wake Me Up When I'm A Size

A Young Bride Can Put On Makeup At 6 In The Morning And Look Fabulous At Midnight. I Have About A 15-minute Window Where I Actually Look Good, And Then I Have To Wash My Face And Start Over.

Every Time I Get Something Under Control In My Own Life, The World Provides More Material.

Now I'm Searching For A Slightly Overweight, Single, Childless Woman Who Doesn't Have A Date And Isn't Too Depressing To Be Around. It's Getting Harder To Find A Girlfriend Than A Boyfriend.

Animal Welfare Issues Have Always Been Important To Me.

Wake Me Up When I'm A Size 5.