Once You Get Offstage You're Just Like

Remember When You're Young And You Think Your Dad Is Superman? And Then You Grow Up And Realized He's Just A Drunk Who Wears A Cape.

I Hang Out With My Dad Mostly, My Dad Was In The Military. He's At That Age Now Where His War Stories And Other Stories Have Blended Together, So Now You Don't Know What He's Talking About. One Time, We Were Surrounded, Then We Ran Out Of Ammo, Then We Were Fighting Hand-to-hand, Then We Started Dancing, And That's How I Met Your Mother.

Pre-mature Ejaculation. Let's Talk About It. Premature Ejaculation. That's A Pretty Fancy Term For, "ooooooh Oh No. This Has Never Happened Before."

Everyone Was Laughin'. Even That Deaf Mute Boy Was Breathing Heavy And Pointing At Me. Which Is Laughter To Their Kind.

Sometimes. I Get Recognized, But I'm Not Really A Famous Famous. I'm Pretty Low On The Showbiz Totem Pole - I Mean, I'm No Jon Or Kate Plus Eight. I'm Just A Comic, Not A Baby Factory.