Oh. What If We Eat A Lot

Gyms Are Always Packed. The Only Machine Available Is The One That Simulates The Gynecological Exam. You Know, The Sharon Stone Machine.

Every Now And Then I'll Read A Book, I'll Be So Proud Of Myself, I'll Try And Squeeze It Into Conversation. People Will Be Like, "hey Jim, How Ya Do-" "i Read A Book! Two Hundred And Fifty Pages!" "that's Great, What Was It About?" "no Idea! Took Me Three Years!"

For A Comedian To Kind Of Catch Onto Something Right As Something's Catching On In Our Culture, A Lot Of It Is Luck, And You Hope The Joke Is Funny.

Deep Frying A Twinkie Makes It Healthy, Right?

There Are Some People Who Know Who I Am But There Are A Lot Of People That Have No Idea Who I Am - Which Is Not To Say That That's A Bad Thing.