Don't You Think It's Strange How Many

Bacon Is Like The Opposite Of Medicine. It's Like, "take That, Lipitor."

Babies, They Learn How To Walk And They Are Already Trying To Run Away. You Can't Reach The Doorknob, You Only Know Us, Think It Through.

Thanksgiving, You Know - Thanksgiving - It's Like We Didn't Even Try To Come Up With A Tradition. The Tradition Is We Overeat.

I Do Just Want To Do Jokes. I Don't Want To Be A Divisive Figure.

I Personally Have No Interest In Being A Star Or A Celebrity. I Want My Stand-up Comedy And How I Think As A Comedian To Be Recognized And Successful.