Oh Good. I Love Being Bait For

I Don't Feel So Good." Lula Said. And She Farted. She Squeezed Her Eyes Shut Tight And Did A Full Minute-long Fart. "excuse Me." She Said. I Was Horrified And Impressed All At The Same Time. It Was A Record Breaking Fart. On My Best Day, I Couldn't Come Near To Farting Like That.

He Specializes In Virgins! The Brush Of His Fingertips Turns Virgins Into Slobbering Mush." Mary Lou Molnar

Okay, Take A Deep Breath, I Told Myself. Don't Go All Hormonal. Get The Facts Straight. Have A Mental Doughnut.

Somewhere Along The Line, I Realized That I Liked Telling Stories, And I Decided That I Would Try Writing. Ten Years Later, I Finally Got A Book Published. It Was Hard. I Had No Skills. I Knew Nothing About The Business Of Getting Published. So I Had To Keep Working At It.

Does Your Mother Know That You're Carrying A Gun? I'm Going To Tell Her. I'm Going To Call And Tell Her Right Now." Joe Morelli's Mom