Now, I Have A Halloween Mask I

President Obama Has Begun A Three-state Bus Tour. I Believe The Three States Are: Confusion, Delusion, And Desperation.

The New York Police Department Says Iran Has Conducted Surveillance Inside New York City. They Say Iranian Operatives Are Using Special Mobile Surveillance Units. I Believe They're Called Taxi Cabs.

I Had A Dog That Was So Lazy, He Had A Prerecorded Bark.

Republican Presidential Hopeful Mike Hucka-bs Is Attacking Actress Natalie Portman For Getting Pregnant Without Being Married. It Could Get A Little Awkward If He Runs Into Sarah And Bristol Palin At Fox News.

Supporters Of Osama Bin Laden Want To Rename The Arabian Sea After Bin Laden's Death. They Want To Call It "martyr's Sea." Please, Hiding In Your Bedroom For Six Years With The Blinds Closed? How About "chicken Of The Sea?