I Was In The Rotc. Of Course,

The Fda Is Now Warning People Not To Eat Raw Cookie Dough This Holiday Season. Is That How Fat We're Getting In This Country? Our Ovens Are Too Slow Now?

In The Nfl, 31 Players Have Been Arrested Just Since The Super Bowl. In Fact, A Lot Of Teams Are Switching To The No-huddle Offense Because Players Aren't Allowed To Associate With Known Felons.

President Bush Said That American Workers Will Need New Skills To Get The New Jobs In The 21st Century. Some Of The Skills They're Going To Need Are Spanish, Chinese, Korean, Because That's Where The Jobs Went. Who Better Than Bush As An Example Of What Can Happen When You Take A Job Without Any Training.

Con Artists Are Using Obamacare Confusion To Sign People Up For Fake Health Insurance. The Scammers Lure Victims With False Promises Like, 'if You Like Your Healthcare Plan, You Can Keep Your Healthcare Plan.' The Scammers Will Tell You That, So You Have To Be Careful.

This Problem With Illegal Immigration Is Nothing New. In Fact, The Indians Had A Special Name For It. They Called It "white People."