Nothing Is A Better Icebreaker Than A

If You Live Far Away From A Person You No Longer Want To Date Just Let Them Know That They Are Geographically Undesirable.

I've Been Ignoring My Feelings Lately. That Works Pretty Well. Might Also Settle For Less This Week, Just To Try It Out.

That Myspace Is The Story Of The Year. Everyone But My Mother Is On It.

You Know Your Gut Instincts Are Spot On About A Person When You Can Also Detect A Water Source In The Soil Beneath Them.

You Have To Realize, When You're A Comedian, That You Have To Have A Thick Skin. And Trust Me, Being Onstage In Front Of People Is Already Difficult Enough. Somebody's Personal Attack In An Email Is Not As Hard As Getting Onstage.