Nobody Tells Me F-k All!

I Couldn't Be A Royal. It's Like Living In A Supersonic Goldfish Bowl.

To Be A Liar, You've Got To Have A Great Memory, And I Don't Have A Memory.

I Don't Read The Bible. Not Because I Don't Want To, I Just Haven't Got Around To It Yet. One Day Perhaps I'll Pick It Up And Look At It.

Weather In Afghanistan, 2000 Degrees And Cloudy. What The F-ck Am I Doing? I'm Stuck On The Weather Channel. Ahhh!

My Son Jack Just Got Out Of Rehab, He's 17 Years Old And He Got Hooked On Oxycontin And I'm Just A Little Pissed Off That He Never Gave Me A Few.