No One Has The Responsibility To Be

As A Standup, I Try To Change The World. As An Entertainer, I Try To Entertain. And As A Lesbian, I Try To Pick Up The Prettiest Girl In The Room.

Never Point At Anything Beige And Call It Cool.

It's A Cosmic Joke That I'm A Lesbian, Because I Understand Men So Well But Women Are A Complete Mystery To Me.

It's Not That I Don't Like Penises. I Just Don't Like Them On Men.

Because I'm Not A Nice Lesbian, I'm A Big Dyke!