My Mother Said To Me, 'why Do

They Are Preserving The Sanctity Of Marriage, So That Two Gay Men Who've Been Together For Twenty-five Years Can't Get Married, But A Guy Can Still Get Drunk In Vegas And Marry A Hooker At The Elvis Chapel! The Sanctity Of Marriage Is Saved!

My Mother Said To Me, 'why Do You Have To Call Yourself A Dyke? Why Can't You Be A Nice Lesbian?' 'because I'm Not A Nice Lesbian, I'm A Big Dyke.'

What Do You Mean, You "don't Believe In Homosexuality?" It's Not Like The Easter Bunny, Your Belief Isn't Necessary.

As A Standup, I Try To Change The World. As An Entertainer, I Try To Entertain. And As A Lesbian, I Try To Pick Up The Prettiest Girl In The Room.

Never Point At Anything Beige And Call It Cool.