No One Ever Said Life Was Fair.

I Don't Eat Much Meat, Fish, Or Poultry.

The First Time Someone Said, 'what Are Your Measurements?' I Answered, '37, 24, 38 - But Not Necessarily In That Order.'

You Know, One Wonderful Thing That Came Out Of My Enquirer Experience Is That, In My Case, It Was Ruled Tabloids Are Magazines. Which Means They Didn't Have The Protection That A Newspaper Has.

Giving Birth Is Like Taking Your Lower Lip And Forcing It Over Your Head.

It's Almost Impossible To Be Funnier Than The People In Washington.