No More Humiliation For Me, Thanks Very

They Say The Path Of True Love Never Runs Smooth. Well, Luke And My True Love's Path Didn't Run At All, It Limped Along In New Boots That Were Chafing Its Heels. Blistered And Cut, Red And Raw, Every Hopping, Lopsided Step, A Little Slice Of Agony.

I'd Rather Dig A Ditch Than Go To A Dinner Party With People I Don't Know.

My Friend Kathy Is The Only Person Who'll Be Halfway Honest With Me. 'did You Ever See A Cowboy Film, Where Someone Has Been Caught By The Indians And Tied Between Two Wild Stallions, Each Pulling In Opposite Directions?' She Asked.i Nodded Mutely.'that's A Bit What Giving Birth Is Like.

Besides, I'd Seen A Really Nice Pair Of Shoes Yesterday In The Mall And I Wanted Them For My Own. I Can't Describe The Feeling Of Immediate Familiarity That Rushed Between Us. The Moment I Clapped Eyes On Them I Felt Like I Already Owned Them. I Could Only Suppose That We Were Together In A Former Life. That They Were My Shoes When I Was A Serving Maid In Medieval Britain Or When I Was A Princess In Ancient Egypt. Or Perhaps They Were The Princess And I Was The Shoes. Who's To Know? Either Way I Knew That We Were Meant To Be Together.

Hen Nights Should Be Banned. You're Honour-bound To Behave Atrociously, Then Feel Terribly Ashamed Afterwards. (this Charming Man)