No Man Will Ever Put His Hand

I Was Just Reading About The New Lindsay Lohan Diet, Which Is All Liquid. 80 Proof.

Don't Talk To Me About Gravity. When I Get Out Of Bed In The Morning, I Have To Be Careful Not To Step On My Breasts.

I've Learned To Have Absolutely No Regrets About Any Jokes I've Ever Done.

If I Found Yoko Ono Floating In My Pool, I'd Punish My Dog.

My Body Is Dropping So Fast, My Gynecologist Wears A Hard Hat.