Ninety Isn't Old. You're Old When Your

Joseph Cotten, Who Said, You Know How I Got My Name? Sammy Davis Picked It For Me. Never Got A Dinner!

Julius Caesar's Wife, Who Said To Julius, We Are Not Naming Our Son Sid! Never Got A Dinner!

Ben Hur, Who Said To His Sister Ben Him, We'd Better Swap Names Before They Start Calling Me Ben Gay! Never Got A Dinner!

Dean Martin's Great-great-uncle, Ebenezer Martin, Who Said To Eli Whitney, I See The Cotton, But Where's The Gin? Never Got A Dinner!

The Puerto Rican Doctor, Who Wrote All His Prescriptions With Spray Paint. Never Got A Dinner!