John Wilkes Booth, Who Said, Sorry, I

Michelangelo's Girlfriend, Who Said To Angelo, Forget The Paint - Let's Put A Mirror On The Ceiling. Never Got A Dinner!

Sure, I've Gotten Old. I've Had Two Bypass Surgeries, A Hip Replacement, New Knees... I've Fought Prostate Cancer And Diabetes. I'm Half Blind, Can't Hear Anything Quieter Than A Jet Engine, And Take 40 Different Medications That Make Me Dizzy, Winded, And Subject To Blackouts. I Have Bouts With Dementia, Poor Circulation, Hardly Feel My Hands Or Feet Anymore, Can't Remember If I'm 85 Or 92, But... Thank God, I Still Have My Florida Driver's License!

Henry Ford, Who Despite His Immense Wealth Never Owned A Cadillac. Never Got A Dinner!

Billy Carter, Who Asked His Brother Jimmy, Do You Think You Could Get Me On The Gong Show? Never Got A Dinner!

Moshe Dayan, Who Said To Sammy Davis, Jr., That's Funny, To Me You Only Look Half Jewish. Never Got A Dinner!