Never Trust Anybody With Only One Book.

I Set Out To Be A Cross Between Lenny Bruce And Robert The Bruce.

I Hate All Those Weathermen, Too, Who Tell You That Rain Is Bad Weather. There's No Such Thing As Bad Weather, Just The Wrong Clothing.

What Is It With Mcdonald's Staff Who Pretend They Don't Understand You Unless You Insert The 'mc' Before The Item You're Ordering? It Has To Be A Mcchicken Burger...a Chicken Burger Gets Blank Looks. Well, I'll Have A Mcstraw And Jam It Into Your Mceyes, You F**cking Mctosser!

Tread Gently On Anyone Who Looks At You Sideways.

I'm A Huge Film Star... But You Have To Hurry To The Movies, Because I Usually Die In The First 15 F--ing Minutes. I'm The Only Guy I Know Who Died In A F--ing Muppet Movie.