Scotland Has The Only Football Team In

Don't Vote, It Only Encourages Them.

A Fart Is Just Your Arse Applauding.

Why Are There No Windows In The Toilets On Aeroplanes? To Protect You From The Most Dedicated Perverts On The Planet, Hanging Off The Wing To Get A Peep?

Oh Aye...my Father Would Thrash Me Every Now And Then. He'd Talk While He Did It Too! He'd Hit Me And Shout, 'have Ye Had Enough?' Had Enough? Whit Kind Of Question Is That? 'why, Father, Would Another Kick In The Balls Be Out Of The Question???'

Scottish-americans Tell You That If You Want To Identify Tartans, It's Easy - You Simply Look Under The Kilt, And If It's A Quarter-pounder, You Know It's A Mcdonald's.