I Think The Longer Britain Is In

Why Are There No Windows In The Toilets On Aeroplanes? To Protect You From The Most Dedicated Perverts On The Planet, Hanging Off The Wing To Get A Peep?

I Once Travelled To Adelaide On Emu Airways. I Was 5,000 Ft Up In The Air When Someone Pointed Out To Me That Emus Can't Fly

As Soon As I Got Successful, The Scottish Press Started Picking On Me. It's Something They Reserve Just For Me.

The Desire To Be A Politician Should Bar You For Life From Ever Being One.

Oh Aye...my Father Would Thrash Me Every Now And Then. He'd Talk While He Did It Too! He'd Hit Me And Shout, 'have Ye Had Enough?' Had Enough? Whit Kind Of Question Is That? 'why, Father, Would Another Kick In The Balls Be Out Of The Question???'