My Whole Life Is A Movie. It's

If You Were The Only Person Left On The Planet, I Would Have To Attack You. That's My Job.

A Political Satirist's Job Is To Draw Blood. I'm Not So Much Interested In Politics As I Am In Overthrowing The Government.

If Anybody Comes Up To You And Says, My Kid Is A Conservative - Why Is That? You Say, Remember In The 60′s When We Told You If You Kept Using Drugs Your Kids Would Be Mutants?

Most People Past College Age Are Not Atheists. It's Too Hard To Be In Society, For One Thing. Because You Don't Get Any Days Off. And If You're An Agnostic You Don't Know Whether You Get Them Off Or Not.

Remember That No Matter How Selfish, How Cruel, How Unfeeling You Have Been Today, Every Time You Take A Breath, You Make A Flower Happy.