My Whole Life Is A Movie. It's

Will Rogers…used To Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend He Was A Yokel Criticizing The Intellectuals Who Ran The Government. I Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend I’m An Intellectual Making Fun Of The Yokels Running The Government.

I Went To Computer Class With My Dell And I Was Bullied By A Guy With A Mac.

We Would Have Broken Up Except For The Children. Who Were The Children? Well, She And I Were.

I Used To Go Out With Actresses And Other Female Impersonators.

A Conservative Doesn't Want Anything To Happen For The First Time; A Liberal Feels It Should Happen, But Not Now.