Everything I Tell You Is True, But

A Conservative Doesn't Want Anything To Happen For The First Time; A Liberal Feels It Should Happen, But Not Now.

Liberals Feel Unworthy Of Their Possessions. Conservatives Feel They Deserve Everything They've Stolen.

I've Arranged With My Executor To Be Buried In Chicago. Because When I Die, I Want To Still Remain Active Politically.

Remember That No Matter How Selfish, How Cruel, How Unfeeling You Have Been Today, Every Time You Take A Breath, You Make A Flower Happy.

One Thing About Being Narrow-minded: You'll Never Be Lonely.