My Uncle Was The Town Drunk -

College Is A Place To Keep Warm Between High School And An Early Marriage.

If You Build A Better Mousetrap, You Will Catch Better Mice.

Where I Play, The Greens Always Break Toward The Bar.

I've Never Been Drunk, But Often I've Been Overserved.

When I Go To A Party, Nobody Says Hello. But When I Leave, Everybody Says Goodbye.