My Sister-in-law Is So Skinny That She

There's Such A Buildup Of Crud In My Oven, There's Only Room To Bake A Single Cupcake.

I'm Eighteen Years Behind In My Ironing. There's No Use Doing It Now, It Doesn't Fit Anybody I Know.

To Get A Roaster Clean, Send Something Like Baked Apples In It To A Neighbor. Neighbors Always Return Pans Spotless, And You Won't Have To Use A Blow Torch On It Like You Usually Do.

We Spend The First Twelve Months Of Our Children's Lives Teaching Them To Walk And Talk And The Next Twelve Telling Them To Sit Down And Shut Up.

My Eight-year-old Bought A Bicycle With The Money He Saved By Not Smoking.