My Idea Of Exercise Is A Good

[on Plastic Surgery:] When I Die, God Won't Know Me. There Are No Two Parts Of My Body The Same Age.

When I Go To The Beach, My Grandchildren Try To Make Words Out Of The Veins In My Legs. That's Why I Still Take The Pill; I Don't Want Any More Grandchildren.

When I Go To The Beauty Parlor, I Always Use The Emergency Entrance. Sometimes I Just Go For An Estimate.

Fang And I Are Always Fighting. When We Get Up In The Morning, We Don't Kiss; We Touch Gloves.

You Know You're Old When Someone Compliments You On Your Alligator Shoes, And You're Barefoot.