My Real Last Name Is Galifianakisburg.

Inappropriateness Is Funny To Me. Rudeness Is Hilarious.

I Like To Read The Bible In Public Places Where People Are Watching Me Read It. And I Like To Mumur Out To Myself: 'bullshit!'

I Understand Tea Partyers' Anger With The System, But They Are In Way Over Their Heads And Often Racially Motivated, And I Can't Be Part Of That.

We All Know How Funny Morrissey Is. Actually, You Know What? I Say That Sarcastically. His Songs Are Some Of The Funniest Songs I've Ever Heard In My Life. I Mean, Really. I Mean, Not That The "girlfriend In A Coma" Is, Like, Really Funny.

I Tend To Think Of Myself As A One-man Wolf Pack.