I Like To Roast Things From The

Last Time I Was In Canada Celine Dion Had Just Given Birth To Identical Twins. Which Is Quite An Achievement Given Her Age And Face.

With Everybody Having A Facebook And A Twitter, I Feel Like Regular People Consider Themselves Stars. It's A Live, Real-time Upload Of Every Time We Buy A Pair Of Socks, The Most Telling Sign That We're Losing Our Politeness. When You Know Everything About Somebody, You Can Talk To Them Any Way You Please.

Charlie Sheen Is To Stand-up What Larry Flynt Is To Standing Up.

How Is It Possible That Courtney Love Looks Worse Than Kurt Cobain?

I Want The Roast To Be Like A Party Where Everybody Goes And Has A Good Time.