My New Year's Resolution Was To Stop

I Just Could Just Shave My Beard, And Nobody Would Recognize Me. Although I Look Like Jodie Foster.

I Understand Tea Partyers' Anger With The System, But They Are In Way Over Their Heads And Often Racially Motivated, And I Can't Be Part Of That.

Head Gear, Plus Acne Equals...table For One In The Cafeteria.

Reciting Lines Is Hard; Making Stuff Up Is Much, Much Easier.

I Don't Mean To Be Gross, But The Only Time It's Good To Yell "i Have Diarrhea" Is When You're Playing Scrabble Because It's Worth A Shitload Of Points.