My Name Is Real, Which Probably Explains

There Are Zillions Of People Who Say That Alcoholism Is A Disease, But Not Many Of Them Believe It

The Great People I've Met Always Have Time For The Niceties.

I'm Glad I Am A Woman Who Once Danced Naked In The Mediterranean Sea At Midnight.

At Awards Time, The Exorcist Was Nominated In 11 Categories, Everybody But The Janitor Was Up For An Oscar. There Was No Category For What I Did.

Nobody Understands That By The Time The Addiction Has Set In The Alcoholic Is Mandated To Drink ... He Cannot Not Drink! Nobody Wakes Up In The Morning And Says, 'jiminy Cricket, I Feel Sensational! My Life Is Really In Great Shape! I Think I'll Become An Alcoholic!' I Firmly Believe That When A Shaking-to-pieces Alcoholic Says He Needs A Drink Or He Will Die, He Means It.