My Mother-in-law Buys Her Coats In A

Cleaning Your House While Your Kids Are Still Growing Up Is Like Shoveling The Walk Before It Stops Snowing.

We Have Far Too Many Kids. At One Time In The Playpen There Was Standing-room Only. It Looked Like A Bus Stop For Midgets. It Used To Get So Damp In There, We'd Have A Rainbow Above It.

Sex Is Identical To Comedy In That It Involves Timing.

It Took Me Three Weeks To Stuff The Turkey. I Stuffed It Through The Beak.

If I Wore A Peek-a-boo Dress, It Would Be Like Turning In A False Alarm.