My Mom Gave Me One Of Those

What Is Eternity? You're On The Checkout Line At A Supermarket. There Are Seven People In Front Of You. They Are All Old. They All Have Two Carts And Coupons For Every Item. They Are All Paying By Check. None Of Them Have Id. It's The Checkout Girl's First Day On The Job. She Doesn't Speak Any English. Take Away Fifteen Minutes From That, And You Begin To Get An Idea Of What Eternity Is.

When Deciding Between Two Competing Theories, Always Go With The One That Doesn't Involve A Magic Spell.

I'm Totally Normal In Every Respect, But I Have This One Quirk - I Can't Give Out A Number Without Laughing. It's A Problem When I'm Giving My Credit Card Number Over The Phone Because They Always Think: 'he Must Have Just Stolen It.'

I Love Florida. I Love The Beach. I Love The Sound Of The Crashing Surfers Against The Rocks.

I Don't Know How Electricity Works. All I Know Is That It Calms Me.