My Mistakes Are No Worse Than Yours.

I May Look Fake But I'm Real Where It Counts.

I Will Never Retire Unless I Have To.

I'm In The Public Eye, So I Don't Care Who Knows What I Get Done. If I See Something Sagging, Dragging, Or Bagging, I Get It Sucked, Tucked, Or Plucked.

The Only Way I'd Be Caught Without Makeup Is If My Radio Fell In The Bathtub While I Was Taking A Bath And Electrocuted Me And I Was In Between Makeup At Home. I Hope My Husband Would Slap A Little Lipstick On Me Before He Took Me To The Morgue.

I've Never Been A Feminist.