My Idea Of Housework Is To Sweep

Poached Eggs Are Good, Poached Animals Are Not.

My Idea Of 'roughing It' Is When You Have To Have An Extension For Your Electric Blanket.

When My Kids Become Wild And Unruly, I Use A Nice, Safe Playpen. When They're Finished, I Climb Out.

One Certainty When You Travel Is The Moment You Arrive In A Foreign Country, The American Dollar Will Fall Like A Stone.

Grandma Told Me Mama Was Once Caught By The Principal For Writing In The Front Of Her Book, "in Case Of Fire, Throw This In First." I Have Never Had So Much Respect For Mama As The Day I Heard This.