My Headshot Is A Scratch And Sniff,

You Know You Have A Drinking Problem When The Bartender Knows Your Name -- And You've Never Been To That Bar Before.

Do You Remember That Kid That Had Sex With His High School Teacher? I Was Reading Online That He Died Today. He Died From Hi-fiveing.

I Like Dark Comedies. That's Why I Like The Wayans Brothers.

My Dad Doesn't Get Any Of My Jokes. He Laughs At Them, But He Doesn't Understand Them. He's Just Laughing Because People Around Him Are Laughing.

American Society Loves To Prop People Up And Then Take Them Down.