I Like Characters That Are Fragile And

You Know It's Time To Do The Laundry When You Dry Off With A Sneaker.

My Name Is Zach Galifianakis And I Hope I'm Pronouncing That Right. I'm Named After My Granddad, My Middle Name. My Name Is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.

I Have Never Been Much Of A Groomer. I Take Baths A Lot, But I Don't Wear Deodorant. I Don't Have To. I Have A Miraculous Body Scent. I've Had Women Smell Me And Say That Should Be Bottled. I Would Advise Guys To Lay Off The Drakkar, Because The Cavemen Weren't Wearing It. They Might Have Been Putting Mint Leaves On Their Balls, But Your Scent Is Grown Naturally. I Have Really Good Dating Advice.

Inappropriateness Is Funny To Me. Rudeness Is Hilarious.

I Think Sadness And Anger Are Really Fertile Ground For Comedy. No One Is Really Interested In A Happy Person Doing Comedy.