My Girlfriend Said, Emo, I'm Seeing Another

I Was In A Bar The Other Night, Hopping From Barstool To Barstool, Trying To Get Lucky, But There Wasn't Any Gum Under Any Of Them.

I'll Do Anything For My Wife, It's Turning Out.

I Pray A Simple Prayer Every Morning. It's An Ecumenical Prayer. Whether You're Catholic Or Jewish Or Muslim Or Hindu, I Think It Speaks To The Heart Of Every Faith. It Goes “lord Please Break The Laws Of The Universe For My Convenience. Amen.”

Always Remember The Last Words Of My Grandfather, Who Said: 'a Truck!'

My Girlfriend Said, Emo, I'm Seeing Another Man. I Said, Well, Try Rubbing Your Eyes Or Something.