My Girlfriend Said, Emo, I'm Seeing Another

When I Went To College, My Parents Threw A Going Away Party For Me, According To The Letter.

Now There's A Seven-day Waiting Period To Buy A Gun. Who Can Stay Mad That Long?

Because We Allow Handguns. When You Know Someone In The Crowd Might Be Packing A Rod, It Can't Help But Rush Your Timing.

I Don't Know If I Have Sexual Magnetism Or Animal Magnetism, Though Sometimes I'll Find A Squirrel Stuck To My Forehead.

I Was Walking Down The Street The Other Day And These Construction Workers Were Working On The Roof Hammering Away. One Of Them Told Me I Was A Paranoid Lunatic... In Morse Code.