My Dad Was Superman To Me, And

The Only Reason I Can't Recommend Heroin To Kids Is Because The Effects Wear Off.

I Was At Yankee Stadium One Time At 5 A.m., But That Was To Buy Angel Dust

All I Can Say Is That You Only Realize How Big Your Mountain Is Once Youre Laying Motionless, Helpless, And Hopeless In The Valley Below. No One Goes There On Purpose, If You Get What Im Saying, Because The Only Way To Find Your Personal Low Is To Slip And Roll Down That Mountain Of Yours, Straight Through To The Bottom, No Holds Barred.

Women Will Do Anything Oprah Winfrey Says, And That Is Why We Can't Have Women Voting.

Richard Lewis Has This Incredible Ability To Look Like He's Just... You Know It's An Act That's Been Honed. What You Have To Do In Standup Is Create Spontaneity, Somehow; Even Though You've Done This Act A Million Times, You Gotta Look Like You're Almost Just Thinking Of It Now, To Make It Entertainer.